Well, this weekend went okay. I don't seemed to have gained anything.
That's progress in my book.

Go Amy on the protein for breakfast! It totally makes a difference in keeping those cravings away. I have an omelet for breakfast nearly every morning and have for the past month. I'm not crazy about eggs, but I'm getting used to them. I used to get sugar dips all the time, but now that I have a protein in the morning, I haven't had one in a month and they really help out the cravings. Yayee.

I need to work on? Night cravings. We've been eating dinner earlier these days - around 6:30, which is great! (I had tofu steak last night, it was really heavy and filling, so that's something we'll do more often. Eggplant we did too, that is good and filling.)

We used to eat sooo late, no wonder I had a problem losing weight. New problem, I now get really "peckish" as my husband would say and I want to snack all night long. I need to limit it to one serving of a snack per evening AND stop eating after 8:30, or else I know this weight loss will NOT continue.

I brought a journal downstairs and my nail polish stuff, so next time I wanna graze around the kitchen I can either write down why I feel this way, maybe the feeling will pass and if not, change my nail color and let it pass!

What did we do this weekend? We took the dog to the dog park. Olivia just beamed and squealed at all the dogs running around. Got the fridge cleaned out - yayeee!
I made up a weeks worth of baby food: pears, sweet potato, carrots and peas. Those peas were a pain in the you-know-what to deshell and a few shells ended up in the final product, but they do store bought as well, so I'm sure Olivia will be able to handle it. Enough talk of non-weight-related stuff.

I got 45 min of cardio in on Saturday, but not formal exercise on Sunday - just the walking from grocery shopping and going to the park. Good week to all!

Hello, I'm Nikki. I was invited to join your fine blog, by Cat. Thanks, Cat!

So here goes my intro: 23 yrs old, married for 4 yrs, 7 mo. old daughter, Olivia.

For show-off purposes: oliviajoyonline.blogspot.com.

I am also a PCOS-er, very big girl. I weighed 306 at 40 wks pregnant, then after having Olivia, my weight settled months later, at 286. I knew that I was gonna have to work to get it off and it wasn't actual "pregnancy weight". It began.

Weight Watchers. I've had success with them in the past, so I started doing it on my own again. However, we all know it's tough staying accountable to yourself. But fighting to keep my eating in check (I have a big binging problem) and exercising 3 times a week, I fought off 15 lbs.

Why did I suddenly want to quit even though I was having success? Fear of success, who knows.

Happy about the 15 lbs, "celebrating" the loss with food - yeah, that makes a lot of sense... not.

I started The South Beach Diet on February first with a girlfriend. I don't follow it exactly, but I cut out the white flour, potatoes and added sugar and excess fat. Thus far, I've dropped an additional 10 lbs. Happy that I no longer crave breads, potatoes and pasts with the lust I did before, I still have a hankerin' for sugar... chocolate, cakes, cookies, ice cream. I know I could now enjoy them in moderation, but I choose not to at this point because I don't feel I'm strong enough to move on... and not revert to my old bingeing habits. In time, I'll find that control.

Anyway, I started this past week to start exercising again. I didnt for the first 3 weeks because I felt sooo sluggish - and also very curious as to how this diet could be good for me if I'm feeling sluggish.

Now, it's passd and I feel wonderful and we all know that with exercise comes even more energy.

So, I'm feeling good and looking forward to the road in front of me.

Although it may not lead to Orlando (well perhaps for a visit one day), I root both you, Cat and Amy (and Paul, and are there other marathon bloggers here, to you as well then) on your upcoming marathon. Very exciting!

I've blabbered on enough and say thanks for sharing your space. Have a great weekend all. Perhaps next time I'll answer those questions ya'll answered below. Another long blabbering email, hurrah, hurrah!
N

Amy and I have the same motivation this year -- the planning of a second child and the desire to be at a fitter starting point than with the first pregnancy. So I thought it would be fun to answer the same questions she's posed for herself.

Why am I fat?

For me? Living in my head for 20+ years and not really doing anything to support my body needs in a healthy way til I started feeling chronically ill and wondering what the hell was the matter with me. Doh!

All of my pursuits and interests tend to be introspective and creative ones -- writing, reading, crafting, darkroom/photography.

Not really encouraged to develop a physical interest as a child and the few that I had briefly wondered about were shot down as being too boy-ish. (karate). So I didn't examine physical interests again til I was looking to improve my health. Once PE was no longer a requirement in the 10th grade, I didn't bother taking it any more.

College stress, dorm living, and long job hours at minimal pay pave the road to a lot of drive-thru eating and subsequent weight gain too. That crap is crap. Fast, filling, and hot, but crap.

My mystery illness turned out to be PCOS/IR with some hypothyroid thown in. PCOS I've known must be with me -- I've never been regular with periods in my life! But to go from 12 years old to 25 years old without knowing what is causing that, what it is called, how to best care for it, or how to manage the condition is a long time without a clue.

I'm glad PCOS is easier to dx these days. If I've passed it on to my kid, at least we know what to be looking for from the start.

Hypothyroid sucks. I always know when I need to call Dr. H. to check my meds. I feel lethargic, my skin gets dry, I grow moody and slow, and my hair starts to fall out in chunks. Ack.

Why have other attempts to lose weight failed?

I haven't failed yet. Failure is quitting. Probably the longest ongoing weight loss in the world (fall 1997 to date) though.

In that time I've graduated, married, changed jobs, quit working, bought a house, been properly dx'd, spent a year adjsuting my thyroid meds, spent another year adjsuting my Glucophage for the insulin resistance, gone mostly vegan, had a child and more. Life doesn't stop just because you are trying to lose weight.

And because life keeps changing, your tactics have to change too. Changing gears and trying different approaches to meet different needs and conditions -- all that is part of the whole process.

And if you have a lot to lose... dude. it just takes a lot more time than losing 5 lbs. Plain and simple.

I prefer gym exercise. I'm doing home exercise because I've got an infant now.

She's not big enough to fit a helmet properly yet, so even though we're willing to switch over fall mountain biking with fall casual biking with her in a bike carrier thing we haven't been able to yet.

Christmas 2004 is the first Xmas since 1997 that I maintained within 5 lbs. So it took me 6 tries through holdiays season to learn how to work it and successfully learn that lesson.

I'm at my 3rd attempt through my allergy shot series and I think I'll make it this time... I've only got another 3 weeks to go. The first time around I got disgusted at how long it was taking and car problems followed by illness killed my desire to get out there to go. The second attempt? Found out I was pregnant after taking two shots so it wasn't worth pursuing til after I had the baby. This time I asked the doc if I can take it 2x a week (10 weeks) to get it to the once a month maintanence shot rather than dragging it out to five or six months on 1x a week and she let me.

This is my 4th time signing up for Disney's Half Marathon... so far the first time is the only one I've completed. The second time I got sick, the third time I found out I was pregnant.

Why is this time different?

It isn't different for me. It's the same methodical process it's always been.

I don't subscribe to Shape any more but I read the intro to this months' issue after a long time of not getting the magazine and it made me laugh.

Anne Russell writes:

"We all know what to do to lose weight: it's no secret. Jsut consume fewer calories than you expend on a daily basis, day and day. Create at 3, 500-calorie deficit and you lose a pound. Then do it again. And again. And again."

The last line makes me laugh because it's true. Every night I dutifully update my food log/blood glucose numbers... and turn the page to do it again tomorrow.

Does it work? Sure. Julia just turned a year old and I'm 6 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. I'd like to changes happen faster, but I'm content.

Is it boring? Sometimes.

But that's just how it is. I'll put up with a little repetitious boredom for the sake of managing all my conditions properly and getting ready for the next pregnancy. We still nurse, and I'm not jeopardizing milk supply for faster weight loss either.

You just do what you have to and you take the good with the dull. Suck it up, get over it, push on -- whatever it is you need to do to get it done.



Again, and again and again. :)

Easy walks Friday and Sat en famille... less than a mile and moseying along at times since I was carrying, pushing or walking along with the baby. Knee is doing well so hopefully I can get some formal workouts in this week.

Crazy busy... hoping roofes call.

Taking a break. Since waking up... have called sprinkler guy, scheduled doc appts for the whole family, two loads of laundry and working on two more, mowed lawn, caught up email, send family letters.

Now I have bills, soup for dinner and cleaning the house....

Busy, busy, busy.

[...]

Wiped out. Did a lot for the house today but not good for food and no formal exercise -- jsut lawn mowing.

I have a hard time juggling more than two things and since one of the things is always Julia... something slips.

Today was food and formal exercise -- did not do well there at all. 'nuff said. Try again tomorrow.

Paul is home sick. I don't know if he will be up for watching Julia while I go to the allergist or if he will want for me to take her with me like I usually do.

No produce delivery today. I'm sad. But we've got plenty left from last week's basket so I did not order for this week.

I was reviewing my food log and some things worth noting...

1) Switching back to veg*n after a little over 1.5 years of non-vegetarian eating was a snap. I thought I was going to have some lingering hang ups like the first time I made the change but perhaps because it is already familiar it wasn't. My only hang up is cheese because I've yet to find a good soy cheese in regular markets and we now live 15+ miles from Whole Foods instead of 2 like before. Shopping over there is a lot harder when I have an infant in tow and interstate traffic to contend with. It has to be a planned event. It's not like driving really quick like when we lived at our townhouse. If I forgot something it was no biggie to just go get it and be back in 10 minutes.

2) I don't regret going non-veg and doing the suggested gestational diabetic diet in pregnancy and continuing it to Julia's first year. But as I meet the challenge of raising her veg*n, I feel more confident about doing my second pregnancy veg*n from start to finish. The pregnancy part is no longer new, and I know things now I didn't know then -- like how to pitch my expectations, manage my milk supply, etc.

3) Cooking is a bit of a challenge with a kid underfoot. She can see herself in the stove so she's obsessed with her reflection. Every time I open the fridge she runs over to look inside. So I like to do the bulk of my cooking when she's napping. That's also become a planned, deliberate thing. I can't just whip something up whenever I feel like.

4) One challenge is still exercise with baby in tow. I'm still trying to figure out how to make is work, and make it work not just for one day, but consistently. If it were all about me, I could deal. But it's not just about MY personal schedule for the day. It is making my schedule work with Julia's and Paul's. All three working in sync. Because I can't just take off without someone to watch her, and that someone has to be Paul.

5) And that's the biggest challenge. Paul. He's been slightly irritating me when he's supposed to be watching her lately. But that's just part and parcel of a larger issue, one that was there before Julia. Long story short? He keeps bizarre hours, skips meals, does not actively pursue healthy habits, and I can't stand watching it because I miss time with him, I worry about his health, and it irritates me that he doesn't value routine as much as I do.

• What: mall walk with Holly
• Distance: 1 mile

Mostly a decent week upon reflection. Some stressy bits, and light on exercise but all things considered...ok.

Waiting for Holly to show up. Haven't seen her in months so we planned a mall day today to visit, lunch and shop. She's on a Valentine's Day gift hunt for her boyfriend. I'm on a hunt for post-partum clothing that isn't going to fit weird or make me crazy while nursing. Paul's sleeping in with the kid and will babysit. Nice end to my week.

Ate really well this week -- nailed all my 5-A-Days. Killer salad last night with homemade pizza. The organic tomatoes in this week's basket -- to die for! Makes up for the organic oranges that are a bit blah compared to the non-organic tangerines I had previously.

Did well on the friend-making scene this week too. I'm pursuing friendhsips with 5 different moms/kiddies. I don't think I've ever tried to make that many friedns in one go, but when you social time is limited you shoot for efficiency. When one relationship is resting, I can be pursuing another. (Actually, I DID pursue that many relationships at once before. But that was dating. So that's different. )

Julia's fever and rash are gone and she now sports a top tooth. Add the two bottom teeth and she looks like a cheerful thug.

Completed week 5 of my allergy series! 5 more to go.

I'm done with the book for book group, so now I just have to write up my thoughts on it and discuss. Now I can face my books for church. We have new member class in March. Feels weird that I'll be ina class with Paul. Never did that before. can I cheat off his tests? Hahaha.

Never Ending Roof Saga. BLAAAAH! Just when I think I'm making progress... roofer came, we signed intent for work, went to deposit check, notorized permit paper junk... I come to realzie I need anothe signature from my MORTGAGE company. Why don't they send you a list of things to expect and what you will probably have to do? Insurance companies deal withthis stuff allt he time. It is their job. Me? I've never done this. And while this makes me ignorant, I'm not stupid. Give me directions and I can deal with it. But this ping-ponging from one thing to another and being told when something is wrong and not how to make it right.... frustrating as hell.

So... 6 ups, 2 downs. Not too shabby.

5 a Day:

• peas and carots
• potato
• orange
• apple
• tomato
• broccoli

Still trying... but exercise keeps slipping me by this week.

In order of most time consuming... my morning got taken up by the roofer, church, and parents.

The roofer that stood us up Monday? His car was stolen. So now he's trying to catch up on all his missed appointments and after some phone rigamarole we agreed on 1 PM tomorrow. So I had to get Paul on the phone (and he was to and fro convention center and hard to get a hold of) so he will come home for lunch to meet with roofer with me. He wants to talk to us both and make sure we're all on the same page before proceeding.

More phone hooha getting us registered for the new member class at church and requesting child care while we are in class. Thankfully, there's childcare on site, but I have to register Julia too so she can use it while we are in class.

Then Mom called and wanted to invite us to dim sum for Chinese New Year but Julia was snoring and I didn't want to wake her and abruptly take her out (My parents need to realize I live with a child who needs ramp up time to go out to do things) and I didn't want to eat out in the middle of the week. I'm trying to save it for Friday night with Paul (pseudo date).

Then I had to get firmed up about having a playdate tomorrow and sort out direction to my house... looking forward to having M. and J. over.

By this time, Julia was up for the day and wouldn't you know it? She decided today was going to be a nurseathon type day. Baby at the breast alllll day long.

Amy -- re: mental and emotional goals next week... What are you in the mood to tackle?

Part of mine of the year have been spiritual and social. To seek and find a church home for our little family and make some new friends through playgroup. We're making progress here. We're even making progress on the better eating... just need to put in more effort to get better progress on exercise.

Still challenged.

Sometime Sunday night Julia erupted in an alarming dispaly of red dots all over her head, chest, and back. So I got a bit of a shock Monday morning when the light started coming in the window and I could actually see her nursing -- all dotted up!

I spent Monday with all normal business suspended, narrowing down reasons, and trying to score a walk-in appointment.

Dr. S. confirmed our suspicion that it was an allergy thing and gave us a liquid antihistamine.

We've narrowed it down to three possibilites -- the red dye in the Children' s Tylenol we had given her the day before for the teething fever. A moth that flew into the house. Or the mulch at the church playground -- some people can't deal with pine/cedar type woods.

And now I know the helpless feeling of knowing something is the matter with my kid and not really being able to do anything. And this is with her just having rash and acting normally! If she'd been listless, lethargic, crying in pain -- yargh.

I told Paul having children would be like having our hearts running around outside of our bodies.

I was right. Sigh.

Sunday. Day of rest and a day for thinking ahead.

Amy -- no I keep on with the shots as planned, just have to plan to hang around after getting them now instead of just leaving if I'm reacting to the stronger doses. Dad is home and doing fine. It was a medicine reaction thing -- got the dose changed.

We went to church today and it was very enjoyable. Checked out the nursery and met the teachers there and Julia was pretty much ready to run off with any and every child she saw. Next Sunday we'll split up and one of us will stay with her in nursery while the other goes to service. Before I feel comfortable surredering my kid to strangers I need to get to know them so they aren't strangers any more.

Put in my organic produce order and loosely planned the meals for tomorrow. So the 5 a Day goal is looking good this week.

Made some playdates and church dates, so the make-new-freinds-this-year goal is also looking promising.

Laundry done, workout clothes on treadmill for tomorrow morning, so the exercise goal for this week ought to be good too.

Baby yelling... so more later.

I'm being challenged. But I'm coping.

Friday's allergy shot was ugh. I reacted to it and got hot/itchy and swollen at the injection site so I had to hang about to see if it would worsen or not. Lucky, it didn't, but it was still REALLY itchy and uncomfortable.

Julia's teething. Her top teeth are coming in and she's in quite a bit of pain and feverish. She's been drooling excessively, biting me when we nurse, gnawing on her fingers, and cranky. Friday night/Sat morning she shot up to 101.4 deg so we had to give her baby Tylenol to bring it back down.

This morning we got a call from Mom to tell me Dad went to hospital for chest pain. He spent all day there but he's home again. Going to pop over there after church to see him and how he is but a very scary day. Not as bad as last year's heart attack and emergency surgery and him having to be helicoptered to another hospital but still... yargh!

I got partial groceries this evening instead of full groceries. My trip to Whole Foods was bumped off to next week because I wanted to be near the phone for Dad updates.

Now that I know he's home again and ok, I can go deal with making food ahead for next week.

Let's home Sunday is calmer than my Friday and Saturday.

Yesterday's 5-a-Day goal:

• tangerines
• tomato
• broccoli
• low sodium V8 juice
• onions & red peppers

Exercise:

• What: Treadmill walk
• Speed: 3 mph
• Duration: 30 min
• Distance: 1.5 miles

Cold is gone, I'm doing better. So getting back to normal is feeling pretty good. :)