Amy and I have the same motivation this year -- the planning of a second child and the desire to be at a fitter starting point than with the first pregnancy. So I thought it would be fun to answer the same questions she's posed for herself.

Why am I fat?

For me? Living in my head for 20+ years and not really doing anything to support my body needs in a healthy way til I started feeling chronically ill and wondering what the hell was the matter with me. Doh!

All of my pursuits and interests tend to be introspective and creative ones -- writing, reading, crafting, darkroom/photography.

Not really encouraged to develop a physical interest as a child and the few that I had briefly wondered about were shot down as being too boy-ish. (karate). So I didn't examine physical interests again til I was looking to improve my health. Once PE was no longer a requirement in the 10th grade, I didn't bother taking it any more.

College stress, dorm living, and long job hours at minimal pay pave the road to a lot of drive-thru eating and subsequent weight gain too. That crap is crap. Fast, filling, and hot, but crap.

My mystery illness turned out to be PCOS/IR with some hypothyroid thown in. PCOS I've known must be with me -- I've never been regular with periods in my life! But to go from 12 years old to 25 years old without knowing what is causing that, what it is called, how to best care for it, or how to manage the condition is a long time without a clue.

I'm glad PCOS is easier to dx these days. If I've passed it on to my kid, at least we know what to be looking for from the start.

Hypothyroid sucks. I always know when I need to call Dr. H. to check my meds. I feel lethargic, my skin gets dry, I grow moody and slow, and my hair starts to fall out in chunks. Ack.

Why have other attempts to lose weight failed?

I haven't failed yet. Failure is quitting. Probably the longest ongoing weight loss in the world (fall 1997 to date) though.

In that time I've graduated, married, changed jobs, quit working, bought a house, been properly dx'd, spent a year adjsuting my thyroid meds, spent another year adjsuting my Glucophage for the insulin resistance, gone mostly vegan, had a child and more. Life doesn't stop just because you are trying to lose weight.

And because life keeps changing, your tactics have to change too. Changing gears and trying different approaches to meet different needs and conditions -- all that is part of the whole process.

And if you have a lot to lose... dude. it just takes a lot more time than losing 5 lbs. Plain and simple.

I prefer gym exercise. I'm doing home exercise because I've got an infant now.

She's not big enough to fit a helmet properly yet, so even though we're willing to switch over fall mountain biking with fall casual biking with her in a bike carrier thing we haven't been able to yet.

Christmas 2004 is the first Xmas since 1997 that I maintained within 5 lbs. So it took me 6 tries through holdiays season to learn how to work it and successfully learn that lesson.

I'm at my 3rd attempt through my allergy shot series and I think I'll make it this time... I've only got another 3 weeks to go. The first time around I got disgusted at how long it was taking and car problems followed by illness killed my desire to get out there to go. The second attempt? Found out I was pregnant after taking two shots so it wasn't worth pursuing til after I had the baby. This time I asked the doc if I can take it 2x a week (10 weeks) to get it to the once a month maintanence shot rather than dragging it out to five or six months on 1x a week and she let me.

This is my 4th time signing up for Disney's Half Marathon... so far the first time is the only one I've completed. The second time I got sick, the third time I found out I was pregnant.

Why is this time different?

It isn't different for me. It's the same methodical process it's always been.

I don't subscribe to Shape any more but I read the intro to this months' issue after a long time of not getting the magazine and it made me laugh.

Anne Russell writes:

"We all know what to do to lose weight: it's no secret. Jsut consume fewer calories than you expend on a daily basis, day and day. Create at 3, 500-calorie deficit and you lose a pound. Then do it again. And again. And again."

The last line makes me laugh because it's true. Every night I dutifully update my food log/blood glucose numbers... and turn the page to do it again tomorrow.

Does it work? Sure. Julia just turned a year old and I'm 6 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. I'd like to changes happen faster, but I'm content.

Is it boring? Sometimes.

But that's just how it is. I'll put up with a little repetitious boredom for the sake of managing all my conditions properly and getting ready for the next pregnancy. We still nurse, and I'm not jeopardizing milk supply for faster weight loss either.

You just do what you have to and you take the good with the dull. Suck it up, get over it, push on -- whatever it is you need to do to get it done.



Again, and again and again. :)