Changing Focus

I hear the total for the auction fundraiser was more like $13,000. Whee! :)

I'm tired. This cold is taking it's time leaving, so we spent my 30th birthday at home and very low key. Paul's going around telling me I'm a "dirty thirty" because I've reached my "triple-X" age. (XXX).

Been doing some work for playgroup -- this weekend I have to help Gretchen with the booth at a veg festival and then there's the preschool event in another 2 weeks.

THEN I will be done, done, done with fundraisers for the year and can change focus to Disney, Disney, Disney.

I have to leave for work early today and get some Xerox done so I'm going to sneak a peek at the gym construction site. I hope it opens very soon!

Gross...

Tired. Came home before auction ended to get us to bed because we have colds and Julia's wiped.

But just got a call from Mark, who stayed behind cashiering and cleaning and he thinks it is looking like $12, 200 gross! We have 10 days to turn in our receipts and things, to figure net, but I think we made the goal of $10,000.

I kick ass. :)

This is it!

Paul and I are doing better relationship-wise though we've postponed some discussion til next week because...

The auction is tomorrow! And you would not BELIEVE the amount of work left to do. I'm knee deep in last minute junk and the donation keep popping up from stragglers. I got two Shakespeare tickets last night!

I went to make xerox and saw the the new gym near church preschool has it's sign up. Woo. So it won't be long before doors open, and I can go and NOT leave Julia in gym daycare. She can just go to her preschool an hour early.

So I'll have to have the childcare charges removed from my membership.

Earth to Paul

Paul and I have been having dischord in the home of the Feminine Mystique variety.

Basically revolving around the fact that there are only so many hours in the day, I can only do but so much alone, and we really need to get committed to a schedule, pare back belongings and prioritize goals.

I am NOT getting workout time nor eating well.

Now if it comes down to the wire and I just can't train enough to do the Disney half marathon, so be it. I'm willing to let that go, since it was a carrot and not the ultimate thing. The idea was to do the race to get fit for another pregnancy. I'll just train as far as I can manage -- so long as I get some gym time. That's fine.

But I'm not getting it, nor am I eating well. Now he has to step it up and either a) start cooking or b) take the kid more so I can cook in peace because I cannot cook with a child on my leg.

I don't want to have to give up work at preschool. Julia is blossoming with the social interaction and if/when second kid gets here that's where she's going for a few hours each week to give me time to bond with new baby. So I'm trying to acclimate her slowly to it by being there with her while I can be.

So we dance around the question of whether or not we can afford another child financially, emotionally, and mentally (all of these are resources we have only but so much of) I can't get him to understand that I feel pressured.

Because it is ME who gets pregnant. MY body who carries it.

So while we can jiggle finances around a litlte bit and put off deciding if our finances are ready to take on another kid...

And maybe we can evetually manage to get ourselves on a smooth running household schedule so I can add another child without feeling like the home went to hell in a handbasket for more than the babymoon... and have some time to experiement and jiggle it around some or if all else fails figure out how to hire a little temporary help...

I CANNOT procrastinate on fitness. Eating well and walks have to happen every day. Or else I won't be physically ready when it's time to TTC. And if we are shooting for a certain age gap between children...I'm running out of time. This doesn't even include the fertility hurdles I have as a PCOS patient either.

So. Yeah. Hello? Earth to Paul?

Either work with me, or let's call the whole thing off. Your lack of involvement/concern is making me grouchy. Bleah.

Fitting it all in

• Planned: 1 mile, any style
• Actual: (not yet)

I hate Mondays. There's always so much to do and so little time to do it in! Add that Paul and I are recently over being sick, grumpy because we're lacking in couple time, and I have a meeting this evening after work... ugh. It just piles up and I don't know how to fit it all in.

Better breathing

Today when I woke up my chest did not have that heavy pressured feeling any more. I can breathe!

Perking Up

• Planned: 30 min XT
• Actual:

Snotty. Ear better. Less cough. I think I'm perking up.

Chris and Heather, our church sponsors/new friends, called up to see how we are and are bringing us soup. I'm really taken aback by that in a nice way.

While I take food sometimes to the sick, pregnant, grieving or whatever... I think the last time anyone brought ME food that was not a relative was Craig who brought me some of his Ramen in the dorms 12 years ago.

And I don't think that kind of altruisim counts because typically boys at that age have the ulterior motive of trying to bed you.

30 min of XT onteh schedule today. I feel all flu-ey bone ache-y. So I think when Julia gets up from her nap I'm going to try doing a yoga thing with her.