The run down before I go to bed.

5 A Day Goal: Done. Peas & carrots, pear, watermelon, tomato, broccoli.

Physically: Coughing still, drained, and not enough rest.

Mentally: Wiped out. Don't want to think about meeting anyone's needs but mine and Julia's. Even Paul can just fend for himself for a few days. I need to recharge.

Emotionally: Fragile. Julia's birthday left me completely shattered. While I'm happy she seemed to have a nice time, I really hate having to field all the family hoo hah alone. I'm pretty fed up with other people undermining me, second guessing me or backseat parenting. Bleah.

So I'm not great, but I'm hanging in there.

Sunday. Day of rest, and day to organize the next week ahead. I am beat.

Julia's 1st birthday party at the science museum went over pretty well. Some minor disappointments and difficulties but I think the families will get used to celebrating in this new way -- with family activities being the focus rather than junk food and gifts.

If Paul and I don't start revising and updating the family traditions with #1, it will never get done. So the first Christmas and now the first birthday have been a challenge.

We asked for a story to take the place of gift opening at her party and we'll send polaroids of her opening at home with the thank you cards. I know the in-laws were a bit disappointed but the other cousins do it at their parties and they can enjoy it there. I rather preserve one of the few Chiense customs we can actually do and NOT do the gifts at a party. (With Julia being tri-ethnic it's hard to pick and choose which customs to keep and which to skip.)

My in-laws were a little surprised that we didn't allow Julia to have bakery sheet cake or ice-cream but didn't make a thing of it like my parents did. They're used to my monitoring her food closely and leave it to me. My mom? She ALWAYS wants to feed people. It's one of the ways she shows her love for them. So with her it's been a struggle with the baby's eating. She doesn't understand why she can't have everythign all willy nilly and she doesn't understand that it messes with my milk supply.

I hate it when they backseat parent though. It's ok if they are curious about why we do the things we do with Julia and want to ask but why they have to do it in front of the kid is beyond me.Sooo annoying.

I need their help in teaching her that what Mom or Dad say goes. No backtalk or questions and it doesn't help if the grandparents resist us in front of her. When she's older she can have more of a voice in what goes on but at 1 year old? She needs to mind us absolutely. If I say "stop!" you stop whether or not there is a car coming. If I say "No touch" you don't, whether it's the stove or the DVDs.

I need to work with them on discretion in front of the child.

And for the record -- a child's 1st party is NOT the time to be trying new foods, esp. ones with cow milk, eggs, wheat, chocolate and food colorings. All things that are high on the list of allergenic/reactive foods. If the child gets sick from it, it pretty much ruins the party. After considering all that and the massive sugar dose, we opted to bring Julia a vegan pumpkin cupcake from home and we tested her on it earlier in the week to make sure it would sit ok with her. Getting her a vegan cake was unfortunately not an option with the museum's catering service. So we did the best we could.

First time grandparents though. Sheesh. Hopefully by the time we have #2 they'll get a grip.

I'm doing better. TMI, butI'm at the green snot stage of it so another day or so of that and I ought to be pretty much done. That's how it usually goes for me so I'm always happy to get to that point in a cold.

Paul stayed home Tuesday to take care of us and cope with all the people coming so that was a huge help.

Julia's birthday party is going to be the peak of the week for me but another highlight was Tuesday's organic produce delivery. I've just signed up for this service and I'm liking it. The vegetable basket plus one fruit add-on worked out perfetly for us in terms of quantity for the week, and I'm def. getting my 5 A Day down a lot easier.

Yesterday I made two batches of muffins (rejects) and a new casserole thing (3 stars -- good, would make again, but not stellar or Patio Daddy-O recipe journal worthy.)

I'm experimenting with a vegan muffin for Julia to have at her birthday. I don't want her eating bakery sheet cake. I also don't want her having beaucoup-dles of arbitrary sugar so I was trying to see what amount was sweet enough, but not overpowering in the muffins.

I'm using the same muffin base but doing different featured ingredients and sugar amounts. So with VERY RIPE bananas, which are naturally super sweet, I think 1/2 cup would work out. I did 1/4 cup but it was just a wee bit bland. Then I ran out of bananas so I went with the organic carrot and 1/2 cup, but since carrots aren't as naturally sweet as bananas I think they might need 3/4 cup. 1 cup max.

Now I'm on to pumpkin. So... I'll start out with 1/2 cup and taste the batter and then see if I bump it up to 3/4 cups or even 1 cup before baking it.

I know if all else fails I can do a vanilla wacky cake but I really want her to have some fruit or veg in it.

Just got back from the doc. We are ALL sick now.

I have a sore throat, but no longer have the stuffy nose.

Julia has the stuffy nose, and a bit of an ear thing.

Paul's also sick but he still went in to work.

Add all the other craziness going on this week between insurance guy, sprinkler guy, two allergy shots, starting up produce delivery, and Julia's birthday party... I feel like I'm going to pop!

Too. Much. Going. On.

Ugh.

Doing better. Still a bit snorky so I'm glad I rescheduled Julia's first playdate over at our own house for 2 week sover. Plenty of time for me to give it to Paul and for him to get over it. Luckily, so far Julia isn't reacting. Hooray for breastmilk antibodies!

• What: mall walk w/ stroller
  
• Distance: 1 mile

Took today's walk super easy -- just one mile on the inside loop of the mall and let Julia horse around on the playground area. Scratchy throat still but cough seems easier?

Headache lingers on, only now with a stuffy nose, scratchy throat, and slight cough.
After a few days spent wondering over this awful headhace it was an "Aha!" awakening this morning. "So that's what's wrong with me. I have a cold!"

I can't remember where I might have got it. The allergist? Church? The grocery? Where I have come in contact with a sick person? I have no idea.

I had to reschedule a playdate so I don't get the other people sick. Not too worried about Julia. She never gets it as bad as me -- probably the nursing helps her out.

So laying low. Trying to rest. Doing what I can do on the home front but mostly just resting and being with the baby.

She's doing great on the potty training front -- I'm really pleased at seeing all the previous work starting to pay off.

We've been having some clinginess lately both in the day and at night... I'm not yet sure what's causing all that. Hrm.

Sick! I have a bad headhace and a queasy stomach. Paul suggested perhaps too much dairy and he might be right...

Ugh.

• What: Treadmill walk
  
• Duration and Speeds: 38 min @ 3.2 mph
  
• Distance: 2 miles

9:00 AM

5 hours sleep is not enough sleep.

Julia went on and on last night. Very needy/clingy. I was getting pretty cross with it all. I have to take her temp later to see if she's running warm or what. What makes this whole episode so difficult is not yet knowing the cause so I can tailor my responses so we all hopefully get some relief. Otherwise my attempts at comforting her are stabs in the dark.

I just nursed her, took her to pee, put her back down, and took my meds. Paul is still alseep. I should go back to sleep myself. What I'm going to do is my bloody walk while the going is good. THEN try to go back to sleep.

I'm hoping my mood will improve as I walk. A foul mood is no way to start a weekend.

5:43 PM

Updated with walk stats on top.

Much better. We've all gotten naps and are all feeling less irritable.

Julia in particular slept a lot -- while Paul and I have been up doing house work (groceries for me and then repainting the rusty top of the dryer for him) and then took quick naps, she's been out since last night. Probably has something to do with whatever was making her such a grump yesterday.

I still don't know if it is teeth, separation anxieties, growing pains, or what. She looks longer every time I look at her but I didn't think of growing pains being a possibility until just now. My niece would complain about hers hurting her legs and I suppose it's the same for a toddler.

• What: Treadmill walk
  
• Duration and Speeds: 28 min @ 3.2 mph
  
• Distance: 1.5 miles

Got the walking done late tonight and got hungry at 1.5 miles in so I quit and made a quick salad for a late dinner.

Julia was VERY clingy today and wore me out completely. I couldn't get a thing done other than tending to her so by the time Paul got home I was getting fed up with her. I know it's not her fault when she has days like this. She just needs to work out whatever it is -- separation anxiety, teething, etc. Hopefully tomorrow will go better on the baby front.

No walk today.

Mom had her freezer die on her unexpectedly and she cooked all the food and brought it over before going to work so I got up way too early after way too little sleep last night and my day from there didn't get better.

I'm exhausted.

I think I need to get more aggressive about people not bugging my sleep or the baby's sleep.

I caught my Dad about to bang on the nursery window and I told him to cut it out. I HATE that he doesn't just knock on the front door. Why does he have to do that and disturb the baby?

• What: Treadmill walk
• Distance: 2 miles
  
• Speed: 3.2 mph
  
• Time: 38 min

Got the walk out of my hair late tonight.

I'd taken Julia to the museum to play and then to Paul's work to take him lunch. Came home to nap and then we hit the grocery store and abnres and Noble. So I've been on the go all day long.

Had a bit of a headache while walking but I'm hoping it works itself out. Off to shower and bed.

• What: Treadmill walk
• Distance: 2 miles
  
• Speed: 3.2 mph
  
• Time: ~38 min
  

Let me be clear. I was not in the mood to walk this morning. NOT. NOT. NOT.

While I'm feeling better lately I still feel tired a lot. Larry, Paul's boss, even noticed how haggard I look when I popped by the office with teh kid last week. He was quite kind in asking me how I was doing and if Julia was pooping me out now that she's walking.

I can't remember what nice thing I said back but I DO remember thinking "Good grief, I must look absolutely awful if two separate people have inquired about it in two days!"

But I'm walking in a bit and when I'm done I'll come back to post my 2 mile stats above this entry.

At first it was going to be one of those "Dammit, I have to walk" semi-grumpy things. I missed yesterday's walk because I crashed and I'd promised Monique I'd virtual walk with her so I felt a bit bad about not doing what I said I would.

So I really have to get it on today. So I woke up thinking "Must walk. Urrrrghhh. Allergist Appointment. Urrrrggggh."

But now it's a smiley (albeit still tired) thing.

I've just registered online for the Disney 2006 Half Marathon. Hah! Hah!

I'm after the icing, people.

• What: Treadmill walk
  

Let me be clear. I was not in the mood to walk this morning. NOT. NOT. NOT.

While I'm feeling better lately I still feel tired a lot. Larry, Paul's boss, even noticed how haggard I look when I popped by the office with teh kid last week. He was quite kind in asking me how I was doing and if Julia was pooping me out now that she's walking.

I can't remember what nice thing I said back but I DO remember thinking "Good grief, I must look absolutely awful if two separate people have inquired about it in two days!"

But I'm walking in a bit and when I'm done I'll come back to post my 2 mile stats above this entry.

At first it was going to be one of those "Dammit, I have to walk" semi-grumpy things. I missed yesterday's walk because I crashed and I'd promised Monique I'd virtual walk with her so I felt a bit bad about not doing what I said I would.

So I really have to get it on today. So I woke up thinking "Must walk. Urrrrghhh. Allergist Appointment. Urrrrggggh."

But now it's a smiley (albeit still tired) thing.

I've just registered online for the Disney 2006 Half Marathon. Hah! Hah!

I'm after the icing, people.

Trying to get the new website for this blog done this week. I'm having trouble with some CSS and need Paul's input.

Like Amy, I'm thinking ahead for 2005's training for the 2006 race. Even though the actual race is always the icing on the cake and I'm more in it for the motivation to keep exercising throughout the year... I want icing dammit! It will be my last chance for it for a little while since I'm planning on trying for #2 after Julia turns two.

We went out to Disney to check out race weekend activities on Sat. and it was fun to think about only my interests instead of family oligations like we had been over the holidays. We poked around, wished people good luck, ate at Rainforest Cafe and then let Julia horse around in the water fountains with some other kids. She seemed to enjoy that.

We had playgroup today and she did well -- very into following other kids around. She's not at all worried that they are bigger than she is. Paul got to meet some other dads so that was good for him and I got to get to know the host mom a bit better.

Came home to read the race results and found out that the men's marathon was taken by the same guy in 2003 that I saw while cheering NF people in with Patty. The women's was taken in 2:56 by a woaman who grew up in Orlando but moved away.

Part of me was thinking... hrm... a sub 3 hour marathon... Can I do that? But that's a dream for another year. Waaay into the future and perhaps only a dream. I'm content with walking a half around 3:30. Brisk, but not brutal. And I'll settle for sub 4.

I've got enough distractions with Julia and health goals (manage Paul's hypertension, my PCOS/IR) to set overly ambitious fitness goals. Apart from fitness/health goals this year, there's another -- to meet and greet a bit more and try to make new friends with kids. We have a church date next weekend with another couple and their son that we've met once before so we'll see how that flies.

Busy, busy. With lots to think about.